Now that you have likely chosen your new fedora, it's time to learn how to wear one properly; however, this post is about wearing so as not to be misread by anyone. There are plenty of people out there looking for innocent victims to give Lockjaw to, and it is necessary to wear your hat to avoid misleading the threats. For those of you who don't know, Lockjaw is when one is hit in the face so hard that their jaw muscles spasm, and lock in place. It is truly a horrible thing. Now onto defending yourself.
Wearing a fedodo tilted down, like this...
...tells the threats that you like getting hit in the face. The chemical inbalance between Hydrogen and Mrazigen sends ultrasound waves through cyberspace, and therefore makes you more likely to be attacked.
However, wearing a fedora tilted up, like this...
...makes you less likely to receive Lockjaw. Ask yourself, 'Why would anyone want to hit Bruno Mars, the world's most styling man?'
No comments:
Post a Comment