Lesson 6 - Spotting Good Fedoras

Fedodos can be found anywhere from clothing stores to street vendors; in fact, they can even be found in some grocery stores, next to the yam section.

As I'm sure you can tell, this yam is extraordinarily dry, and extraordinarily styling. Anyway, I digress.  The purpose of this post is to help you decide what makes a good fedora, and I think this picture helps illustrate the fact that no matter where you find these dodes, they can definitely be styling (even if you buy it amongst yams, dry or otherwise).

One way to find stylish fedoras is to actually see them being worn.  A simple walk around the neighbourhood can inspire.

As you can see, just spotting some fedora philosophers on the street (such as those above) can give us many ideas.  I will now go to analyze my favourite of above fedoras briefly, as I am a fedora philosopher, and therefore understand the aesthetic value of these beautiful hats:

Dark Fedora w/ Suede Dark Gray Band and Light Gray Stripes:

Pros:

• Contrasts beautifully with light shirts
• Stripes accentuate eyes
• Band prohibits lock-jaw

Cons:

• Heats up head (due to dark colours)
• Dries your yams
• Slightly common (we want to stand out, but we're not hipsters)

Neon Blue Fedora w/ Darker Blue Band and Very Light Stripes

Pros:

• Colour isn't remotely main stream
• Contrasts beautifully with strawberry-blond hair
• Attracts lots of attention (due to neon colours)

Cons:

• Can be mistaken for the sky (and therefore may not be seen by the naked eye)

Overall, my favourite fedora of the bunch is the 'Neon Blue' fedora, for obvious reasons.

I would appreciate you all to send in pictures of yourselves wearing your favourite fedoras to ' fedoraworld@hotmail.com '.  If I'm impressed, I will get in touch, and you could be the lucky recipient of aforementioned Neon Blue fedora. Let the games begin.

Lesson 5 - Fedodo Rockers

There are any people who can rock fedodes, such as:
Bruno Mars

Jason Mraz

 Justin Timberlake

Jake Hurwitz

Jason Derulo

A dog Silverstein

and many others...

As you can see, many people can rock the dodos, but you can't just rock it alone.  You'll need a leather band, a custom dog tag, and short cut T's with the mad d-zines just for the bros.

Lesson 4 - Lockjaw Defense

Now that you have likely chosen your new fedora, it's time to learn how to wear one properly; however, this post is about wearing so as not to be misread by anyone.  There are plenty of people out there looking for innocent victims to give Lockjaw to, and it is necessary to wear your hat to avoid misleading the threats.  For those of you who don't know, Lockjaw is when one is hit in the face so hard that their jaw muscles spasm, and lock in place.  It is truly a horrible thing. Now onto defending yourself.

Wearing a fedodo tilted down, like this...

...tells the threats that you like getting hit in the face.  The chemical inbalance between Hydrogen and Mrazigen sends ultrasound waves through cyberspace, and therefore makes you more likely to be attacked.

However, wearing a fedora tilted up, like this...

...makes you less likely to receive Lockjaw.  Ask yourself, 'Why would anyone want to hit Bruno Mars, the world's most styling man?'

Where will you go?

Lesson 3
Where to shop for these mad hatters...HENRY HENRY HENRY

Where should one go to find the sickest fedoras? There are many different places to get fedodos, and they all have their pros and cons.

Option 1 - Online stores

There are many websites offering fedoras online. The most popular online Dode store is called 'Hats in the Belfry', which can be found at the link ''. They offer a wide selection of styling fedodos. There are pros and cons to this option, however.

Pros:

Can shop at one's own home.

Simple stuff man

Sick hats eh



Cons:

Can't try on the fedodos, so you can never be totally sure if it is styling

Expensive hats



Option 2 - Actual Stores

There are some sick fedodo stores out there that will allow you to try on each F-Dode, including J-Crew, Hollister, and all that good stuff.

Pros:

Some sick Fays, all day long

Try on the hats, I think so. You will always be jamming it out to sick bands like Queen, Jason Mraz, and other heterosexual artists.

Cons:

You have to go out

SATAN WILL EMERGE

More Fedora Tips

Lesson 2
Which materials look the most styling

As mentioned before, there are many different types of Fedodos and many diffrent types of fabric. There is the "Classic", the "Mr. Colourful", the "Mr. Günther", and finally the "Lay-back," these are just a few of the many wacky and wonderful fedodos. These fadoras look great, but are fragile one false move and you can ruin the look. This is why you have to choose the right fabrics to go with the hat style. The top five fabric are:

5. Plastic
Plastic fadodo can only be worn at New years or a rave. These fadodos cost like pretty much free. These hats do not look good in real life, but can be nice to wear when everyone else is wearing them.

4. Fur
This type of Dode is one of the least stlying and popular, but it is pretty rad if you know what I mean.  If you don't know, then you don't need to know, because then you are not a knower.

3. Leather

These Fay Fays are styling like no other, except for number one and two of course.  They are made of the flesh of cow knees, and none other than the highest grade cows out there, homie g.  We ain't playing the game, because we are the game.  What now?

2. Straw

These hats hold them selves toghether very well.  The one downside is that unless you are incredibly good looking, like me, you can not pull of the casual straw fadora in the day - only in the night may you pass for a Yu Gi Legend.  This also applies for your clubbing, so get your towels ready Yosemite Sam.

1. Velvet

These Fedodos may be pricy, but are totally worth the green eggs and ham, and the divorce.  The styling on these bad boys is just in sync, like the band 'N Sync', the most street band out there.  You can check in any time you want, but you can never leave!  The bitties will be all over you.

Fedoras are the best

Fedoras, Fedodos, Dodes, Feds, Fay Fays - it doesn't matter what you call them, because they are always going to be styling.  Fedoras can be quite expensive, though...that's why it's important to find the cheapest Fedodos, that will always be super fresh and styling.

There are many kinds of Fedoras: straw, velvet, fur felt, and even winter Fay Fays.  There are also many scams out there trying to get you to buy the fake Fadodies!  Pokémon n00bs are a sure sign of scammers, so beware!  Another danger in the Fedora World is something called expensives.  They have taken this name for one reason - they are expensive.  You must go through a series of tests and training exersizes provided by the Dode master himself (I am refering to me) before you are able to start buying Fedoras.

Lesson 1
Cheap only means cheap if you want it to

Even though a Fed may be cheap, it doesn't mean it isn't top quality.  If you don't believe me, check out this link: http://www.hatsinthebelfry.com/product/belfry-volare.html

This Fedodo is definitely styling, but it's selling for a mere 2500 pennies.  Wearing this would pick up all the ladies, unless you think that Jason Mraz at the 2002 Kid's Choice Awards was not styling.  He was if you weren't aware.

Stay tuned for more tips on finding the perfect Fedodo for you!